Pause and Embrace Your World

Rain falls, wind blows, fire burns, earth turns, and love learns. 

~ LeeLoo, The Fifth Element

As mother nature in all its beauty reminds us of her capable fury, I pause and am thankful for the people in my life. Material things are fun and make for a comfortable existence, but it is the rain that encourages life, the wind that gives faith, the fire that warms the soul, the earth that keeps us grounded and the love that teaches us to appreciate all that we have. Embrace your world, one person at a time.

So, who are you?

 

It is human nature to believe that we are complex and mysterious. We think ourselves difficult to understand, unpredictable in nature and capable of layer upon layer of intricate characteristics. These are what make us unique and attractive to others. These are what make others unique and attractive to us. As we move in and out of relationships, we try people on and attempt to figure out who and what might compliment. But why are we so disappointed, so shattered really, when the ONE turns out to be so much less than the one?

The truth is people do tell you exactly who they are. Almost immediately. The signs are there. The writing is on the wall. For all of our mysteriousness, we are who we are and it comes out quite instantly. There is no changing, no training, no magic potion to make the other person suddenly be the person you want them to be. The irony then is that we spend an exhausting amount of time trying to find that particular person we want to spend our lives with, and then spend an inordinate amount of time and effort trying to change them. A recipe for disaster if ever there was one.

(Quote take from Mad Men, Season 4, Episode 8: Summer Man)

Ahh the Humor of the Universe

For some time now I have been pondering the Universe and what perhaps its motives are.  Some may say I am questioning the existence of God, but no, I have faith and understand that in the end, with that faith, it will all be okay. 

Instead, what I believe is my quandary is that no matter what I seem to figure out, no matter what answers eventually come to light, or what revelation suddenly appears, there is always yet another puzzle just waiting around the bend. It’s as if the minute all is right in my world, the proverbial fates decide to throw that curve ball, roll their dice, and turn it topsy-turvy once again. Some would say that this is the stuff of life: mess, chaos, uncertainty – this is what makes a life worth living.  True. But sometimes, some times, you just want to stay in the moments of peace and contentment, the moments of clarity and understanding, the moments of seemingly symbiotic perfection.  Sometimes, you just wish the Universe was a little more compassionate and maybe not quite so impish.

The People in Your Life

If there's one thing I have learned and taken to heart is that people come into your life for a reason. Often, we can't see it, understand it or even believe it but that's the way it works. There are those that appear when you need distraction, those that appear when you need to be shaken to your core. There are those that see you through the hard times, and those that are meant to share successes and happiness. But the most important thing we can learn from these people who come in and out of our lives, is to accept and not always question the why. You see, the why will eventually become clear. And often it isn't the why but simply the what - what were they here to help you through and did you listen? Did you take it to heart and become changed by it? For if you didn't and simply let the aha moment slip away, their presence was merely wasted and you completely unaffected.

The Right Moment

So many of us spend our days waiting – waiting for things to settle down, waiting for that great job or waiting for that perfect person. We wait for the tide to turn, for things to go our way, for life to get back on track. We wait - wait for the Right Moment. But really, what are we waiting for? The simple fact is that there is no Right Moment. We go through life and the ups and downs, the ins and outs, the certain and the uncertainty is what makes life worth living. It’s taking that leap of faith, working through adversity and bravely taking that chance that gives life meaning, purpose and satisfaction. You can't wait for  the adventure, the excitement, or the worth in the living. The truth is, there will never be a Right Moment. So instead of sitting on the sidelines waiting for it, jump in and go for it. Live your life. The Right Moment is now. What are you waiting for?

inspired by Seth Godin, The Right Moment http://bit.ly/1oZPaZH

The thing about truth

The thing about being confronted with an absolute truth is that somewhere deep down in the recess of your soul you knew the truth was there the whole time. How often do you hold on to something – an idea, a thought a wish just because you want it to be true? We go through this life and crash head-on into truths every day. Some we accept, others we deny. Sometimes we want something so desperately that the truth of it cannot break through. Fortunately, or perhaps not so much, the truth inevitably does. And just as there is a natural progression of life, so too is the natural revelation of truth. Will the truth actually set you free? Who can say. But one can be sure that the absolute truth will always come through. What you do with that is entirely up to you.

Friendship or Love?

Just as there is a fine line between love and hate, I have found that there’s an even finer, perhaps even blurry line between friendship and love. With friendship, one has a sense of belonging and acceptance. You have things in common and enjoy similar activities. With love you have all of those but also that something extra - that something special that makes it more than just friendship. There’s connection and comprehension, unconditional forgiveness and understanding. When you love someone, you take the good and the bad, stand by them through the thick and the thin, comfort the sorrow and rejoice in the joy. In love there is the every day and the details. Even if you prefer solitude, you are never alone for your love is always with you. The problem then is mistaking friendship for love. For although you can love your friends, you can only be truly in love with the one that shares your life moments. That’s where the fine line ends, and the blur becomes crystal clear.

The Power of the Truth

I’ve heard it said so often that the truth will set you free. While I agree to a certain extent to that statement, I have also had an experience where the truth has not only given clarity, but honestly, a certain sense of power. Do not mistake my words – it is not power in the diabolical menacing kind, but more power to face my own fears, confront my own insecurities and be at peace with whatever comes next. 

The reality is that sometimes even when we think we know the truth – be it intuition, a feeling or sixth sense – there is comfort and confidence in actually knowing the truth. Let’s face it, it’s all fine and good to think that someone loves you, but isn’t it amazing when you not only hear the words but also experience the soul bearing confirmation that someone truly loves you?

New Year's Eve

As we ring in the new year, I am reminded of two of my favorite quotes from the movie of the same name. Although it may be a bit corny, I believe they are sentiments well spoken, very honest and resonate as we say goodbye to the old year and welcome in the new. Happy New Year everyone. Goodbye to the past, hello to the future and embrace the present.

Sometimes it feels like there are so many things in this world we can't control. Earthquakes, floods, reality shows... But it's important to remember the things that we can. Like forgiveness, second chances, fresh starts... Because the one thing that turns the world from the longing place to a beautiful place... is love. Love and any of its forms. Love gives us hope... Hope for the New Year. That's what New Year's Eve is to me. Hope and a great party! ~ Sam

And as you all can see, the ball has stopped half way to its perch. it's suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the new year, to stop, and reflect on the year that has gone by, to remember both our triumphs and our missteps, our promises made and broken, the times we opened ourselves up to great adventures... or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt, because that's what new year's all about , getting another chance, a chance to forgive. to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more, and to stop worrying about what if... and start embracing what will be. so when that ball drops at midnight, and it will drop, let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other, and not just tonight but all year long. ~ Claire

New Years Eve, 2011

The Hubbell Factor

Your girl is lovely Hubbell. Why don’t you bring her for a drink when you come.

I can’t come, Katie. I can’t…

I know…  ~ The Way We Were (1973)

How many of us remember fondly the great love that we just couldn’t be with?  Whether it was a boyfriend, a lover or a husband, most of us have that one person who no matter hard we tried, no matter how hard we wanted it, no matter how much it seemed to make sense – it just wasn’t meant to be. What is it that makes those seemingly fated relationships doomed to catastrophically fail?  How does a love that feels so right, turn out so incredibly impossible? It is quite simply, the Hubbell factor. 

The Hubbell factor stems from the reality that love does not always conquer all because sometimes, quite simply, life gets in the way.  Sometimes you do find your soul mate but no matter how hard your try or how much you want it, it just doesn’t work. Sometimes it just becomes too difficult to love unconditionally. That’s when the Hubbell factor kicks in and you look to someone easier to love. Instead of challenge, you look for simplicity. Instead of complexity, you look for uncomplicated. Instead of unpredictable, you look for expected. The problem? Instead of interesting, you end up with comfortable. Instead of excitement, you end up with boredom. Instead of striving for greatness, you end up with nothing special.

quote courtesy of allsubs.org

Icicle Moments or Life's Happiness & Joy

I recently attended a conference specifically geared towards meeting planner professionals where the recurring theme was pushing forward or as they termed it, Tomorrow’s Wave. The purpose was of course the future of meetings and how we, as professional meeting planners, marketing specialist and communication coordinators are responsible not only for our client’s message but also for expanding the boundaries of what our client’s might have never imagined. Once termed "thinking outside of the box", these days the challenge is not reinvention but instead innovation.  The issue for those of us in such a capacity is thus creativity, motivation and engagement. As we move from event to meeting to conference, we are continually challenged to celebrate success, but only for a moment as disaster is always lurking. The problem we face then as professionals is uncertainty, anxiety and truthfully, burnout.

With that in mind, I started thinking about what forces drive me and how I manage to keep that balance of both continually striving for excellence while at the same time, ensuring that I am personally in-check.  Naturally, this contemplation of professional self got me thinking about my personal self. How is that one takes those moments of success and happiness, and turns them into continuous contentment and joy?

Surprisingly enough, my answers came from two very different places – the pastor at the church I attend and a speaker at the conference. Last week, our pastor's message was about the difference between happiness and joy. Fundamentally, it is the small things that make us happy and lead us down the path of pure joy. It is the moments in time where we experience this happiness, these are the moments we cherish and will always remember. This is the joy in life – reveling in those moments of happiness.
With this fresh on my mind, I attended a presentation at the conference about icicles or frozen moments in time. The premise being that those moments we experience that when we think back on them transport us to the place, and the feeling where we remember bliss are like the icicles formed off the roof as the snow melts.  Frozen moments in time with such beauty and wonder that they naturally bring us a sense of contentment. Reliving that amazing experience is like that icicle bringing us happiness. It is that happiness that we must remember when faced with the possibility of going over the edge in our life. It is that joy that should ground us and see us through the hurdles.

So the next time you seem to have hit the proverbial brick wall whether it be professionally or personally, close your eyes and think of the icicle - that moment of bliss. It may take some doing but once you are there, joy will follow and perhaps with that, a little peace of mind.

 Thank you Pastor Cullum, Christ's Church, and Gregg Herning for your inspiring thoughts and words.

Apologies

The thing about apologies is that they are all fine and good when the person apologizing actually knows what they are apologizing for. Giving someone a blanket apology, one that is meant to cover "whatever it is I must've done" is simply a cop-out and not the true intent of what an apology is really for. When one apologizes, it is supposed to be about feeling and emotion.  One must truly understand the wrong, truly feel the hurt of the other person, and truly be sorry for the offense. The problem that most apologizers have is that they haven't a clue what they are sorry for. Hence, the empty apology. 

So really what is worse - the initial hurtful action or the fact that the one apologizing simply hasn't a clue that they've acted in such a manner as to hurt another person?  Only when one completely understands and feels badly for where they have misstepped can one wholeheartedly expect an "apology accepted."

Whirlpools

I’ve often wondered if others ponder the nature of the Universe with the same curiosity and wonder as I do.  A specific conversation provided some insight and a very interesting perspective.  A friend of mine told me that he saw it as a whirlpool - that we all swim in circles until we break out in pairs where we can float in tandem, weightlessly on the horizon.  Upon further (quick) introspection however, he thought better of his seemingly apropos analogy and stated that he in fact would drown in the whirlpool.  Apparently he couldn’t envision surviving the opposing currents.   
I had to laugh and could only respond that this was fundamentally his problem. I explained that perhaps he should trust in the water, in the whirlpool, and actually allow himself to drown.  My thought in offering this advice being that in order to fully experience all that the whirlpool could offer, he had to allow himself absolute immersion into it.  Only in the full experience, only then, would he possibly be saved by the unexpected.  Quick to respond, he stated that being saved is never something you expect but only that it happens by faith.  Faith.  And again back we were to the ever elusive faith.  Even in the braving of the whirlpool it inevitably comes back to faith.  In a very knowing and coy way, I reminded him of this – that you have to let yourself go in order truly have faith.  His response?  “Easier said than done dear.” Truer words were never spoken. Still, I will look for the whirlpools and look forward to total immersion. 

In the quiet...

Human nature has proven time and time again that no matter what the universe promises to bring, we inevitably fall into the same pattern. We are our own worst enemy and have the most difficulty getting out of our own way.  When times are tough, it’s easy to blame the world and wallow in the pain. But often it is pain we bring upon ourselves.  Warnings are all around but we insist on following the course and quite simply not getting out of our own way. Sometimes it’s important to stop and just listen. The answer will come. Often the answer is to simply get out of your own way. Stop reveling in limited glory or wallowing in fleeting misery.  Instead listen to the silence for it will show you the way. In the words of the great mystic Rumi, “The quieter you become, the more able you are to hear.”

a reason, a season, a lifetime

It is said that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Those that come for an explicit purpose leave their mark, often in the most subtle of ways, and move on to the next life they are meant to affect. Those that come for a specific time frame, change our course, reroute our thoughts and quite possibly put us back on track to the path we were meant to follow. Then there are those linger and eventually stay to become a permanent and integral part of our story. These are people we must cherish - those that never judge, never doubt, and never stop believing. They lift you up when you are down, share your load when you can’t and offer a hand when you are in need.

Life is a series of constantly moving parts and pieces. The people we encounter along the way are part of the puzzle that make the picture complete. What’s important to recognize is that not everyone we meet has the same relevance in our lives.  Some will float in for a reason and leave us in a newly enlightened place. We must let these individuals come and go. Some will appear for a season and be remembered for the gifts they bring. We must appreciate these individuals but be prepared to say adieu. But for those that “stick”,  pay close attention to what they offer. These are the priceless gems to hang on to - for it is these individuals that make a life complete.

Timing

There was a popular TV show in the late 80’s that followed the lives of seven individuals as they navigated their way through life, relationships and love. A particular episode came to mind as I was thinking about timing – timing in life, timing in relationships, timing in love. One of the characters who eventually married her “Mr. Right” initially discounted him as a love interest when they first met.  Eventually as the show went on they encountered each other again, fell in love and were married but not before essentially wasting three TV seasons of being together.  This made me wonder, why is it that she initially rejected the man she was destined to marry? Why didn’t it work the first time around?   Why is it that the universe sends us what we are looking for but not always at the moment we are ready to accept it?

Every day life presents different opportunities and different paths to navigate. Often the people and events that we encounter are there for us to decide upon and to choose from: is this the right time to take that trip, vie for that promotion, begin that new relationship? Sometimes we take that leap and go for what is offered.  Other times we decide against that step, take a moment and weigh the options. It’s really all about the timing. Timing is what makes some things work and other things catastrophically fail. Go for something too soon and it is quite possibly doomed. Hesitate too long and the opportunity may be gone. So the thing to consider is timing. If it doesn't seem to fit the moment is presented to you, then most likely it doesn't.  Listen to your heart, the mind will eventually follow.  Because forcing something whose time hasn’t come is an inevitable recipe for disaster.

Letting Go

There is a fundamental truth that in life there are several moments when one is challenged with the task of simply letting go. There is the letting go of fear and pain, anger and resentment, love and loss.  Often one must let go of things, and of people.  Some might even argue that there is a time to let go of dreams and flights of fancy.  But what of those elements within that make it so difficult to truly practice the art of letting go?

We are told that there is a reason, a season, or a lifetime for everything.  The things that come into our lives that cause the fear, pain, anger, and resentment, the love and the loss are often the people and the dreams associated with them.  They are truly a part of us.  And, our flights of fancy are often the motivation behind some of life’s greatest accomplishments.  Still, sometimes it is prudent to truly let go of those things, especially once their purpose is served. The point then is not to ignore or forget the lessons learned through them, but to actually and fully let them go.  For it is in the holding on to these that can gradually and without warning begin to hold one back.

House of Cards

A house of cards is a delicate structure. It is comprised of strategically placed, ornately decorated cards of various suits and numerical values. The strength and integrity of the structure is solely dependent upon how the elements lean and support each other. The value of each is an inconsequential factor in where it is positioned.   A higher card at the foundation will in no measure ensure success.  Building the house of cards takes skill, a steady hand, and above all the ability to slowly, methodically and patiently stack, rest and balance the cards.  Success is an impressive tower of a seemingly floating structure – a masterfully crafted house of cards. Failure is collapse and scattered suits – hearts, clubs, spades and diamonds strewn all over the table.  What do you suppose attracts one to attempt the task of building a house of cards?

Some would say it is just a card game, so to speak, something to do indoors on a rainy day.   That seems all too simple. A house of cards or rather building a house of cards has its rewards.  It is in the accomplishment and the satisfaction that one has managed a difficult task.  It is in the knowing that one has committed to something, an unimportant task but still one with something to show for it.  It is in the comfort that one is able to exhibit patience and plod on against the odds as the prize slowly reveals itself.  The wonderful thing about the house of cards is that at the end of the undertaking there is a reward – a thing of awe and beauty...and the knowledge that it is yours, and only yours to admire or destroy.

Karma

 

It never ceases to amaze how long it seems to take for karma to actually come back around and bite those that truly deserve it.  Understanding that the likelihood of being privy to when this actually occurs is nearly nil, it is difficult to patiently wait, sit back and allow events to naturally take their course. When someone has purposefully and maliciously wronged you, it is hard to let the Universe handle the situation.  Ugly is ugly no matter how you slice it and injustice is simply that – unjust.  Why is it that our offenders seem to get away with proverbial murder and seem almost rewarded for their bad behavior?

Human nature is a complex intangible thing.  Some are put on this earth to follow the righteous path and have regard for their fellow man.  Unfortunately, there are those that quite simply do not.  Just as for every yin there is a yang, in order for goodness to exist, there must also be, well, evil. Hence, the human condition of saboteur, mischief and chaos.  It is tempting to put these individuals in their place, especially when they harm us or those we love. However, it is important to remember that karma truly is a bitch and just as every dog will have his day, so shall every person have theirs in some way, shape or form.  For although revenge is a dish best served cold, one must remember to act is to become exactly the same as those that have wronged us in the first place.