Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I was once advised never to go backwards. The advice was given regarding relationships and the observation that once a relationship is over, revisiting said relationship or "going backwards" was not the smartest move. The school of thought is similar to the notion that an ended relationship is called a breakup because it is indeed that - broken. Why is it then that we insist on going backwards? What is the catalyst that often compels us to revisit, rehash and re-break a relationship instead of just leaving what is already broken in the past?
People come into our lives for a variety of reasons. At the same time, they leave our lives for an even greater multitude of reasons. Our task is to realize and accept what each person, each encounter, each adventure brings to us. There's a lesson to be learned, an idea to be explored, an adventure to be had; but the key is to recognize that once it is completed, once the relationship is played out to its inevitable conclusion, we must let go and put it away as a memory only to be revisited as a reminder of the experience. Trying to go backwards and recapture or rewrite the relationship is like opening Pandora's Box - inevitable chaos, confusion and turmoil ensures. It is therefore important to remember that a breakup must remain as such because the relationship is in fact just that: completely and utterly broken.
referenced: It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken, Greg Behrendt