Sunday, September 18, 2011

Friends...With Benefits?

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I’m saying is…that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
Can men and women really just be friends?  Or are we doomed to end up as FWB’s – friends with benefits because at some point, one (usually the man) or both will inevitably want to have sex with the other?  And if we are so quick to go ahead and jump in the sack with our “friends”, why is it that we quite predictably end up losing our friends?
The truth I think stems from the reality that most of us are out there looking for more than just a friend.  Those of us that wade through the sea of opposite sex friends, trying to connect with “the ONE” are in search of that friend – the one who not only gives us benefits, but also emotional connection, support and unwavering love.  While a Friend With Benefits might be great to scratch that inescapable itch, that’s no way to build a lasting relationship, no matter how amazing or safe or comforting the physical is.  Let's face it, sometimes you have to hunker down for a long, itchy, cold winter and hope that a genuine friendship will blossom with the spring flowers into something more permanent, something lasting and something more fulfilling than being just friends. 

dialogue courtesy of IMDb When Harry Met Sally (1989)

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