Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Go Alone - It Might Be A Good First Step

I did something today that I have never done before.  I went to the movies by myself.  I can hear the hushed amazement.  Perhaps even a small low groan.  My mother, on the other hand, would be proud. 
I had been wanting to see The Time Traveler's Wife since it opened a few weeks ago and just didn't have anyone to go with - way too much of a chick flick for some.  So finding myself with a free afternoon, I sucked it up and hit the matinee at my local Epic theater.  It was weird at first purchasing a single ticket.  Actually, the girl at the box office charged me for two without even thinking.  No, I said, just one ticket.  She was aghast and had to give me a refund.  In her mind, I broke some kind of social norm!  Only one ticket?  How unusual.  I hurried to theater 15 just as the previews ended and the movie was about to start.  In other words, in utter darkness.  I have to admit that I timed it that way on purpose - less people to see me sneaking in alone - but, it was still very obvious to the six other people (all people with other people by the way) that I was there...wait for it...ALONE. 
I, of course, watched the movie in utter silence - no sense in the other moviegoers thinking I was crazy talking to myself!  The movie itself was good, not quite what I expected, but good, and lasted just under two hours.  As the credits started, I made sure to quickly exit the theater before the house lights came up to ensure that no one would actually see me in the light of day at the movies by myself.  What a looser, right?  Not necessarily.  I did something new, something brave and something by myself.  I deserve kudos for going alone.  After years of conditioning, I am finding my way alone, by myself, and I think going to the movies solo is a huge step.  I am finally getting comfortable in my own skin and it shows.  It may seem like a trivial thing seeing a movie by yourself, but honestly, it takes a little courage, a little guts, a little chutzpah to do things alone - especially those activities normally viewed by society as things we do with others.  Who knows what else I might decide to try, and maybe, maybe I will finally be the "leading lady in my life as opposed to simply behaving like the best friend."

quote courtesy of The Holiday

2 comments:

  1. More startling evidence of your healthy attitude now that the shackles are off. Just a year ago we were talking about awful things, now it's sounding oh so positive. I might be skeptical had I not witnessed it with my own eyes in April and July. You look and smell (ala 1996) terrific today btw!

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  2. It's true that society expects women to be in couples. I've learned not to care about what others think any more. We are always happiest and most successful when we take care of ourselves. This means extreme self-care, not selfishness.

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